David's Amazing Adventures

Mind you, I've never really just sat and watched someone bathe before. But with cats, you just can't help but be impressed. It puts yoga students to shame. For example, look at what happens when one of my cats, Harry, decides to park on my desk and groom himself. It's a series of impossible contortions:



...that looks more unbelievable the longer it goes on...



...yet, to a cat, is apparently perfectly casual and normal.



The only time I tried something like this was when...

On second thought, let's just drop it.
 

Netflixing Showtime's The Tudors--yea or nay?
 

I paid an online visit to Roxio (a/k/a Sonic Solutions) over the weekend, because they have an array of DVD editing/authoring tools, and I'd been looking for a handy way to port some movie files over to DVD for awhile.

Long story short: from now on, I plan to give Roxio products a wide berth.

I'd used a Roxio burning tool in the past (before I found the excellent ISO Recorder)--it was resource-hungry and unreliable. From my recent experience, I'd say that's a fair assessment of this company's software overall. Add to that the fact that their customer service department is the kind that basically wants to sweep your problem off its collective desk in the quickest way possible. And even though you explain the problem directly and to the point, their responses make you wonder if they gave your text more than a cursory glance before forwarding your question down to some poor clerk with "TAKE CARE OF THIS" casually stamped on it.

Software: returned for reimbursement. (We'll see. Hopefully they know how to do that.)

On the bright side, I found some absolutely kick-ass (and fun) software that does exactly what I was looking for, reliably and quickly. And I'm happy to point you to it. It's easier to operate, the finished product is perfect--and the female voice accompanying its dialog boxes is absolutely delightful. (A word to the wise: don't have your speakers up too high or be holding hot coffee. She's a little startling at first!)
 

If you were wondering why the hell you can't seem to find any canned pumpkin or store-bought pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving, this waterlogged pumpkin field in Washington Township, Illinois might give you an idea. Nestle, which sells nearly all the canned pumpkin in the United States, says poor weather hurt its harvest, creating a potential shortage of its Libby's pumpkin pie products through the holidays.

Still, show me a Thanksgiving table without an assortment of pies other than pumpkin--mince, pecan, apple, et al. But pumpkin pie will nevertheless be conspicuous by its absence. Carving up that perfectly good pumpkin for Halloween might not have been such a bright idea, eh?
 

Shame on you, Paramount Pictures--copy-protecting the Star Trek DVD.

What--you don't trust me?
 

Against my better judgment, I've signed up for Netflix again.

I put it that way because movie quality has never been able to sustain these kinds of memberships for me. The only reason I'm re-signing is that there are a couple of films I want to see, and their DVD releases are scheduled for next month. And our local Hollywood Video store, in a very convenient location, is in the process of closing--which, frankly, I'm surprised took this long. With all the costs associated with building the place, leasing the property it sits on, running 24/7 with monthly utilities costs? You're not going to break even with meager walk-ins renting DVDs at $4 a pop.

Besides, even with the high-profile launch of the Blu-ray format, it's pretty much agreed on that DVDs--though they'll be "around" for awhile--have reached their end, as far as being the huge profit medium they once were. Even Netflix knows this, offering the option to download your movie instantly rather than waiting for it in the mail. I haven't jumped aboard that train yet--I doubt that I ever will. As I said, movies that I want to watch are few and far between, certainly nothing I'm in a rush for. One glance at Netflix's "popular releases" should tell you all you need to know about today's current crop:



My deepest apologies to Zac Efron and Jennifer Aniston, but they won't be getting me excited about movies anytime soon.

One thing DVDs really missed the boat on is film restoration. Every such restoration that's been released has always met with critical acclaim, and buyer interest. Yet there are any number of films still languishing in their original format which could have had new, profitable life on the DVD shelf if they'd gone through a restoration process. What's the point of a new medium if you open the box, slip it in the player, switch on your hi-def TV, and see a faded movie that makes you look around the living room to see where the film projector is hiding?

Anyway, I suppose my Netflix membership will, at the very least, allow me to catch up on all of the TV series I haven't seen. There are, admittedly, a ton of them, as my TV viewing has been practically nil. But I must say--with few exceptions, the motion picture industry might do well to consider a new rating for the majority of its releases:


 

I was going to run down a bullet point list of current events that are on my mind right now--but this is partly a comics-themed journal, so these cartoons I ran across seemed to be the way to go. To wit:














 

This is pretty amazing.

Have a look at a cappella singer Sam Tsui, who attends Yale University, harmonizing onstage with digital versions of himself in this Michael Jackson medley.



He also does a more orchestrated "Don't Stop Believing" Glee cover.
 

While I must admit that some of the most outrageous, off-the-wall inventions have a habit of actually catching on and making $$$ for their inventors, I have my doubts about this one. Taking the idea of having healthy products in vending machines one step further, Inventor Pep Torres has attached a stationary bicycle to a vending machine--the idea being that a customer who wants a product would have to pedal a certain distance to get it.

Not exactly made for the commuter on the go, nor for anyone who is rushed for lunch. But Torres would like to see his machine in subway stations and schools. And I don't know if the machine would have the nerve to still charge you for the product you're having to work to get. But the device made Time magazine's "The 50 Best Inventions of the Year," so there's a chance you might see it in a public facility near you someday.
 

Can YOU



Name This Marvel Villain??

This villain is one of Marvel's heavy hitters, as far as his ruthlessness and dreams of conquest--but he's definitely not the man he used to be. And he's having a really bad day. It started with his own power-mad ambition, and an act of anguish that caused him to overreach the limits of his power--which led to his defeat and apparent death. Yet somehow, he survived. After a brief bout with amnesia, his body began to radically alter, until he turned into a warped mockery of his former self.

In this form, he proved virtually impervious to attack. So a desperate plan was hatched, which would remove him from this universe entirely. But at the last second, the plan was aborted. Astonishingly, the villain was already reeling from an attack that managed to breach his defenses--an attack of conscience. He put an end to his threat--by ending his own existence.
 

One good thing about installing a new OS:



It's an excuse to find new wallpaper.
 

"Whether motivated by sincerely held Christian beliefs or an effort to purchase political capital with religious coin, the result is the same. The statute is clearly unconstitutional and defense of its implementation has embroiled the state in unnecessary (and expensive) litigation. ... Such a law amounts to a state endorsement not only of religion in general, but of a specific sect in particular."

-- U.S. District Judge Cameron Currie, ruling that a proposed South Carolina Christian-themed license plate is a violation of the First Amendment, which prohibits Congress from making a law "respecting an establishment of religion"

Judge Currie's ruling is a long-overdue example of the federal courts finally putting their collective foot down on the encroachment of religion into government. This particular attempt (a similar attempt failed in Florida) was all but bulldozed through the South Carolina Legislature by Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, who Judge Currie clearly took aim at.

I'll be curious to see the reaction of religious figures on this matter. Will we see protest marches? Fevered petitions for constitutional amendments? Or will it be more subdued? One such figure, Rev. Barry W. Lynn, makes perhaps a model comment, stressing that government must never be allowed to give favorable treatment to one faith above others:

"That's unconstitutional and un-American. Some officials seem to want to use religion as a political football. [It's] an appalling misuse of governmental authority, and I am thrilled that the judge put a stop to it."

Which raises an interesting parallel. The government wasn't always so representative of its constituents. Legislation approved in mid-1955 made the appearance of the phrase "In God We Trust"--then the unofficial national motto--mandatory on all U.S. coins and paper currency. In 1956, Congress formally legislated the phrase into federal law as the national motto. It was an unsung victory for Christian religious groups, who at that point in time were mostly taken for granted. And the words in the Congressional joint resolution passing the law employed some of the best use of spin I've ever seen:

"In these days when imperialistic and materialistic Communism seeks to attack and destroy freedom, it is proper" to "remind all of us of this self-evident truth" that "as long as this country trusts in God, it will prevail."

Today, such a blatant religious move would probably not survive the much more intense scrutiny it would receive. And with court rulings finally shining an uncomfortable spotlight on such moves, you'd think this 50-year-old law would be targeted for repeal. Don't hold your breath. "In God We Trust" is so embedded in the national consciousness that any attempt to remove it would be seen in an almost superstitious perspective--as if we were crossing one line too many. You think you're sick of hearing the 2012 loonies now--just wait until some ACLU lawyer starts to make headway on expunging "In God We Trust" from federal law.

No doubt the recent ruling upholding the First Amendment was the correct legal decision. But in the United States, where the rule of law is otherwise so strongly advocated, apparently you can still take good law only so far.
 

Color me shocked.
 

After watching "Sick Around The World" on PBS' Frontline show last night, the horrendous battle to enact health care reform in the U.S. becomes even more baffling. The show followed Washington Post correspondent T.R. Reid (who speaks pretty decent Japanese, by the way) on a layman's journey around five other capitalist democracies--the United Kingdom, Japan, Germany, Taiwan and Switzerland--to compare and contrast their own universal health care systems.

The verdict? They all seem to work splendidly. Color me surprised.

No angry citizens storming their respective capitals, raving about government takeover. No socialist agendas. No death panels. No Sarah Palin (which isn't relevant, but is always a plus, regardless).

When health care reform takes hold here, and everyone has finally calmed the fuck down, someday we're going to look back at the idiocy we exhibited--the utter lunacy of fighting against health care for all U.S. citizens--and wonder just what the hell we were thinking. And I want to see one thing without fail: I want the fools who have allowed themselves to be whipped into a frenzy by the right-wing elements who have them wrapped around their little finger to INSIST on continuing to pay full price for their health care. Let's all not hold our breath waiting for that to happen, hmm?

Have a look at the show online. Reid covers all the bases, and gives a very objective and entertaining report.
 

Dear Microsoft:

I would sincerely like to know why, on a 64-bit system with 8Gb of memory, Windows 7 takes over twice as long to boot as Windows Vista.

Justin Long is looking hotter to me these days. You'd better shape up your sorry-ass OS.

Sincerely,
I've More Than Met You Halfway Here
 

If you pick up a stack of comics at your store, chances are you read them the same way I do: in descending order, with the ones you're most interested in reading being pulled out of the stack first. Inevitably, as you make your way down, you're left with the stragglers--comics which you collect, but not enticing enough to be read immediately. Or even that day.

Or even after as much as a week or two go by.

Welcome to my current Leftovers:



X-Men Legacy. This book seems to have shifted its title permanently from just "X-Men" (though dallying with "New X-Men" for awhile), and has now moved from a book centered on Prof. Xavier to life behind the scenes on Utopia, the team's new home on an island. It's quickly becoming one too many X-Men titles for me, and in fact I'll probably drop it from my list next time I'm in the store. I'm not thrilled anyway with the Utopia concept--I mean, one minute we see how the X-Men have comfortably moved to San Francisco and invested a great deal of time and money in a state-of-the-art facility there and made a dramatic announcement to all remaining mutants to join them there in a sanctuary, and the next thing I know they're exiling themselves to an offshore refuge. I wish the editors of the X-books would agree amongst themselves to settle on one thing, if only to make my head stop spinning.

X-Force. The cover of issue #20 speaks volumes about this book. It's one slicing, bloody killing spree after another for Wolverine and his on-the-down-low team of enforcers. The book is well-written, but is about as far away from the X-Men concept as you could possibly get--and sanctioned by, of all people, Cyclops. Not to mention having the most unlikely member of such a group ever: Wolfsbane. Cable turned me off of New Mutants when he came aboard that team in much the same way--turning the team into a kill-or-be-killed strike team. I know exactly what I'm going to see when I open X-Force, so it can always wait at the bottom of the stack.

Young Avengers. Normally, this team would be at least in the middle of the stack--but that was before they were relegated to these brief limited series, which allow little to no room for the character development which was the main reason their first series resonated so well. Now the stories are distilled down to battles. That's like throwing random Avengers together to meet a threat: we get no concept of the Avengers as a group, or why these individuals have banded together. I want Marvel to have the stones to put this group in their own book again. The first series had really grown into an excellent title before Marvel inexplicably pulled the rug out from under it. If all we're left with are these periodic appearances that burn and fizzle out, I'd rather Marvel didn't bring them out of mothballs at all.
 

I love this! High-tech anti-whaling.


Earthrace, the new stealth, high-tech anti-whaling powerboat of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. The boat has paint that deflects radar waves, so it can approach Japanese whaling vessels almost unseen. It will join the society's ship Steve Irwin on a three-month voyage fighting the Japanese whaling program, leaving Perth on Dec. 7.



Ship engineer Larry Routledge prepares the new Earthrace.
 

Today I read an astonishing statistic from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation:

More than two-thirds of adults in America are obese.

That is a statement that both shocks and angers me.

The former is self-explanatory. I really had no idea that obesity in this country had reached such a staggering rate. But the anger part came later, when I read a recent article in The New York Times that revealed the latest spin from the overweight camp, particularly from--I kid you not--the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance:

"We believe that fat people can eat healthy food and add movement to their lives and be healthy. And healthy should be the goal, not thin."

The second part of that statement, I concur with wholeheartedly. But let's swing back to the first part. First of all, let's jettison the confounding "add movement to their lives" bit, because frankly it sounds more motivational and enabling than factual. So the statement now reads:

"We believe that fat people can eat healthy food and be healthy."

The utter idiocy of what you've just read should be obvious. First of all, someone who is obese is a person whose heart and lungs and other vital systems are working overtime to perform even the simplest tasks. Just walking out to get the paper on the lawn is taxing. Even sitting in place requires breathing heavily. I have a difficult time categorizing that as "healthy." And by the way, when was the last time you saw an obese person eating something healthy?

The article, boiled down, is simply another in a long string of such articles that seek to reassure the overweight person that there is nothing wrong with the way they look. That is again something I strongly agree with--on its face. But obesity is something much more than a look, a fashion trend, a dalliance with a different style--it's a near-debilitating condition, a condition which is anything but healthy. That is something that every one of these kinds of articles seeks to deftly side-step. And it's a mindset that is nothing short of denial. Ironically, denial in another form might indeed result in the health that, for now, is nothing but illusory.