David's Amazing Adventures

This is Qin Kai of China, competing in the men's 1m springboard diving final at the World Championships in Rome on Friday.

 


(Click to enlarge to full wincing effect)

Your task is to figure out at what point this picture was taken. Was it when:

a) the springing board impacts on Qin's crotch?
b) the photographer failed to realize his telephoto lens was that long?
c) Qin's spring is so powerful that he impacts on the spectator balcony glass?
d) one of the judges makes a hard grab for the bulge in Qin's Speedo?
e) after springing off, he reads on the board that the water temperature is 27°F?
 

Outstanding.

 

 

If you're a comics collector, one of the most exhaustive of your tasks comes from keeping your collection organized--not only as far as inventory, but making sure you can get to whatever books you need to find without shuffling through them in boxes, closets, or other crammed places. Having custom-built shelves for my collection was, and still is, one of the best decisions I could have made for it; but, from time to time, I have to rearrange the shelving space to accommodate changes. (Not to mention quantity.)

Or, to use the old phrase--"out with the old, in with the new."

There's no getting around this task--sooner or later, as your collection grows, you have to face this daunting work that simply can't be put off any longer.

It would have been ideal if my shelving space could hold all of my collection. But as it stands, it serves as more of a "revolving door" that reflects my current buying habits, as well as availability for special projects. The key is to leave enough room for new books of a series, while taking down those books that are either no longer in print or that I no longer collect.

So after hours of work, and enough leg and bending movement to satisfy a gym regimen, here's the reorganized final product:



Which means that what was removed had to go somewhere:



Take it from me--these long boxes are no small exertion to move about if you should happen to need a book you've stored away. I have to be careful not to stack them too high. Having to call an ambulance because I had to get to a copy of Strange Tales would be too embarrassing. I can hear the hospital staff around the coffee machine now: "Haw, haw! Guess he didn't have super-strength, did he?!"

I think my dream is to have the library space that Henry Higgins had--complete with rolling ladder. Having your library in a guest bedroom is not something I want to present when I finally appear on "Cribs."
 

Can YOU



Name This Marvel Villain??

This villain gave Marvel's heroes a great deal of trouble over a period of time, inbetween other threats on their collective plate. He had a deadly agenda, brought about in no small measure by insanity and rejection--and entire worlds would meet their end before a final battle put an end to his threat.

And though he appears quite menacing here, he wasn't always so. But instead of rejecting a certain deadly artifact, he embraced it, allowing him to gain incredible power. Unfortunately, it also unhinged his mind, which caused his former lover to annihilate their world--and thereby putting him on a quest for misguided vengeance.
 

Look--I'm never, never going to be of the opinion that our government wouldn't ever try to pull a fast one on us. I mean, this is the United States government we're talking about. Motto: "If We Can Get Away With Lying To You, We'll Make Every Attempt."

But the contention that we never made a manned landing on the moon? That it was all a hoax? Come on.

The conspiracy theories on this issue have been going on for years. Decades. And the people contending that the landing was a hoax are as firm in their beliefs now as they've ever been--pointing their collective finger at both NASA and the government.

I won't go down a list of their assertions, because it's a game of pong. Accusations from the doubters--rebuttals from NASA--rebuttals to the rebuttals--back and forth, back and forth. I'll just propose that structuring this kind of conspiracy would require covering too many bases to be feasible. It would require less effort to actually go forward with the mission.

But try telling that to Bill Kaysing, the outspoken author who claimed that all six Apollo moon landings were hoaxes. Until his death in 2005, he persisted in his belief that we were all victims of a NASA conspiracy--saying that he would "stake [his] life on it." Kaysing spent much of his professional life digging up dirt on not only the specifics of the conspiracy, but the astronauts involved. His comprehensive interview on this subject, and other government hanky-panky, is--well, to say the least, interesting. Did you know that Americans bribed the Japanese into bombing Pearl Harbor?

Eventually, as we take steps toward returning to the moon, the trappings of these challenges to the moon landing should fall away. (It's already started, with photographs from this NASA probe--though, honestly, if you're expecting someone to drop their skepticism by pointing to what amounts to a pinprick on the lunar surface, you'd better have a lot more to show them.) Personally, with everything else on our national plate, I don't exactly consider the moon a priority. I'll simply hang onto my belief that, for what it's worth, we were there. It was basically, for all intents and purposes, a space race, which ultimately became nothing more--but for all the people involved in making it happen, it was an accomplishment that deserves its place in reality.


 

Typhon, our last mystery villain which stumped the lot of you, isn't your typical prisoner, by far--mostly because he has the annoying habit of escaping. An Olympian Titan, he invaded Olympus and destroyed the Promethean Flame, which sent all of the Olympians into the Land of Shades. That didn't sit too well with Hercules, a member of the Avengers at the time, who'd come to Olympus in search of Zeus, his father. Temporarily overcoming Hercules with the same fate met by Zeus and the other Olympians, Typhon then decided that Earth would be loads of fun to menace.

Enter the rest of the Avengers--unfortunately, at this point in time, at their lowest ebb in terms of strength. With members Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch recently joining Magneto, the team was down to Hawkeye, the Wasp--and Goliath, who had lost his power to grow in size. Even so, they still tried to thwart Typhon when he assaulted an ocean vessel, though Typhon had the upper hand. However, Hercules escaped from his imprisonment and made a timely arrival, and defeated the Titan.

Typhon, in later appearances, almost made a career of getting revenge on Hercules--even to the point of siccing Iron Man on him by holding the Beast hostage. In his last attempt, the Avengers again intervened--and Kratos and Bia, Zeus's bruiser guards, escorted him back to prison. Which, of course, means that we'll be seeing this loser again someday.
 

It's
Green Shirt Thursday

 

"I would just suggest to you, for what it's worth, Judge, as you go forward here, that these statements about you are striking. They're not about your colleagues. You know, the 10-minute rule applies to everybody. And that, you know, obviously, you've accomplished a lot in your life, but maybe these hearings are a time for self-reflection."

-- Senator Lindsey Graham, following a lengthy and posturing diatribe on Judge Sonia Sotomayor's temperament

If you ever want to see blatant examples of politicians seeking their 15 minutes, tune in a Senate confirmation hearing. You will never see more opportunities for a nominee to wonder, "I'm sorry--was there a question in there?"
 

If you've ever had your share of attending weddings, you'll have empathy with 1994's Four Weddings and a Funeral--a British romantic comedy which, despite its two obvious leads of Hugh Grant (Charles) and Andie MacDowell (Carrie), is an ensemble piece through and through. I can appreciate comedies for that very reason--you can't have the leads milk all the laughs in a comedy, as they'd be too conspicuous--so you bring in a cast of characters (usually friends of one or both) who are both distracting and colorful. In Four Weddings, that would be Charles's group of tight-knit friends.

You'd think it odd that Carrie doesn't seem to have one friend to her name, but I'll touch on that in a minute. Suffice to say that Charles's friends more than make up for it. The unconventional Scarlett--the disarming Fiona--boisterous Gareth--Tom, whose faith never wavers--Matthew, Gareth's partner--and David, Charles's brother--all complete Charles's circle of support and, certainly, wake-up calls (in one scene, literally).

Which leaves Charles as sort of the odd man out--directionless, a confirmed bachelor, and ripe for the emotional upheaval in his life to come. That's helped along in no small part by the barrage of weddings he seems to be invited to, which can't help but remind him that he, alone, hasn't found the right person.

When Carrie, an American who happens to attend a wedding where Charles is serving as best man, crosses his path, Charles is instantly smitten--as is Carrie, to a lesser extent. Unfortunately, through a combination of one-night stands and bad timing, they don't really have a decent chance to kindle the spark. Yet, happenstance sees them reuniting at weddings--even Carrie's own, to another man. That, in turn, spurs Charles to take more resolved steps toward ending his bachelor days.

Nor, at this point, am I sorry to see his time with Carrie apparently ended. MacDowell wasn't the first choice to play Carrie, or even the second or third, and I can understand why. A competent actress, she's nevertheless a bland choice for Charles's love interest. She adequately fills the role--but for Charles to pine for her so, to be so conflicted on the day of his wedding, he needs to have more than an "adequate" actress to play off of. Charles and Carrie need to have real chemistry with each other.

MacDowell, signing on just two weeks before shooting began, basically phones in her performance. (And for a very nice profit, at that, having opted for percentage points in lieu of a fee.) As difficult as it is to understand Charles's fixation on her, it's equally difficult why Carrie--as MacDowell plays her--feels anything for Charles. Up until the time when they finally reunite, she treats Charles as little more than an afterthought. Anyone, it seems, would have done in his place.

And all this time, the perfect actress for this role was sitting right under their noses--Kristin Scott Thomas, who could have nailed the part of Carrie in her sleep. She lights up the screen as Fiona, a far more limited role--and it was obvious how well she and Grant played off each other. Take the scene where Carrie is describing her past loves to Charles--think what wonders Thomas could have worked with that scene. With Thomas as Carrie, these were two people you would have wanted to get together. Instead, at the end, we accept that Carrie and Charles are together. There's a world of difference between those two concepts.

It speaks well of Four Weddings and a Funeral that it can still stand out as a splendid comedy, even with its lead actress being so miscast. There are plenty of other cast members to pick up the slack--even those who aren't part of the principal ensemble group receive choice scenes to shine in. And you simply shouldn't miss the veteran comedian Rowan Atkinson as Father Gerald--who, presiding over his first wedding as a priest, trips over his own tongue in front of all assembled. He's the kind of priest you'd want at your own wedding--I know I would. He joins an exceptional cast that will ensure that, even if you don't like the thought of Charles and Carrie tying the knot, you'll still have a great time at the wedding.
 

I always know when there's a new cat in the neighborhood--my own cats disappear from the inside of the house. They'll be out on the patio, staring through the screen at it, and vice versa. I proposed once that it's my firm belief that cats are telepathic, and I stand by that seemingly ludicrous claim. You see, dogs would meet a new dog with tails wagging, endless pacing, and lots of animation. Cats are a study in contrasts. If there's a man-made barrier between them, they simply settle down, stuffing their front paws underneath them, and--do nothing. They don't even stare at one another. But they maintain proximity. Now you tell me they're not communicating with each other. For all we know, they could be endlessly debating the nuances of Sarah Palin. Maybe that's why they appear so bored.

So my cats usually stick around with me in the house after they've been fed in the morning, but not recently. They go back out on the patio, and rejoin their mystery friend. Maybe he/she isn't there--in which case they simply go out and wait. Because they have to be there, just in case the cat shows up. Don't ask me why. Even when the cat shows up, they're just going to basically do nothing, at that point. But they'll wait, regardless. A cat's patience is legendary. Probably because they have nothing better to do. I mean, it's not like I have a house full of cat distractions waiting for them to find. They've scouted the house--they pretty much know what to expect when they come back in. They know it's not Las Vegas.

Also, I know precisely when the mystery cat leaves. Because even though these cats have done nothing during their time together, at the other cat's departure my cats virtually panic. They'll bolt into the house--really, bolt--and seek out windows near what they consider the last known direction the other cat took. I know exactly what windows those are. Because when my cats reach them, they relentlessly AND NOISILY try to swat aside the window blinds so that they can hop up on the window sill--where they'll basically just look at this cat again. Apparently, you score extra cat points this way--when the other cat doesn't realize you're locked in on him. "Heh heh. I'm stalking you with my eyes. If I wanted to, I could pounce on you and you wouldn't know it until it was too late. Heh heh."

I imagine they'll take great pleasure in rubbing that in this cat's face the next time he comes around. It's a pity I won't hear a word of it.
 

Can YOU



Name This Marvel Villain??

Never let anger get the best of you--advice that this bruiser often ignored. Being a prisoner will do that to you. But he wasn't imprisoned without due cause, having lived a life of vengeance almost as a birthright. Eventually, he was able to turn the tables on his jailers, and effectively imprison them--which started him down a long road of conflict with one Marvel hero in particular.

Brutish, powerful, and savage, he was a formidable and deadly foe if he got the drop on you. To make matters worse, he sometimes had powerful allies who, with their own numerous experiences with being imprisoned, found him to be a convenient and valuable tool. Yet the hero who was often the target of his revenge always proved to be his match. As for his fate--well, let's just say that by now he's become very accustomed to prison food.
 

What's New In Comics

Rating:
Check it out!
Holy disappointment, Batman.

Dark Avengers #6 This issue was a close tie with New Avengers #54, which featured the debut of the new Sorcerer Supreme, Brother Voodoo. Yet it excelled for a couple of reasons (despite the confusing cover featuring Captain Marvel, who was nowhere to be found within the issue). Most notably, Norman Osborn's manipulative use of the Sentry to wipe out an Atlantean terrorist cell. It's interesting how Marvel is able to effectively (and conveniently) check the Sentry's power when it wishes by making him mentally unbalanced. That way, they can "let out" his power in doses to up the drama level in a story, without having to worry about such a powerful character lingering around and overwhelming other characters. And putting him in the care of a sociopath like Osborn is akin to lighting the fuse on a bomb which could go off at any time. Another reason this book shines is due to the characterizations which writer Brian Bendis is giving both Osborn's secret cabal and the team members. Just have a look at this delightful exchange between Ms. Marvel and Osborn's top aide, Victoria Hand, when Hand presses her for the location of Noh-varr (who Ms. Marvel had recently seduced):

Invincible Iron Man #15 This is part 8 of this book's "World's Most Wanted" storyline, where Tony Stark is in a mad dash across the globe to his hidden armories--and in the process, deleting "the database that is his mind" because he knows the secret identities of registered super-heroes, as well as other state secrets, and Norman Osborn wants that info. Since this will assumedly leave Stark a vegetable, it beats me why he doesn't just incinerate his head with a repulsor instead of drawing this thing out issue after issue--but what do I know. The story has had a few notable bumps, namely giving Pepper Potts--Pepper Potts--an Iron Man suit of her own, for aid and rescue missions. (The conclusion being that you or I could suit up and function as Iron Man without, well, being the inventor of the thing and knowing its capabilities or how to work it.) And to be honest, this issue had competition from another title that was disappointing: Fantastic Four #568, which takes the anticipated Marquis of Death story and boils it down to a grudge against Reed Richards. But this issue has the distinction of featuring the Black Widow and Maria Hill--two characters without any super-powers or invulnerability--taking plunges from a multi-storied building straight to the ground, landing on their backs, and shaking it off and resuming a running chase as if they'd simply tripped. I don't know what they feed those agents at S.H.I.E.L.D., but what do you want to bet it's mixed with vibranium?

 

If you've never had the experience of seeing an official employ damage control, look no further than John Duesler, the president of The Valley Swim Club in Huntingdon Valley, PA, who recently got into hot water after his club canceled the swimming privileges of the nearby Creative Steps day care center--a center, by the way, whose children are predominantly African-American.

Let's hear his first reason for canceling, shall we?

"There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion ... and the atmosphere of the club."

Which brought charges of racism swooping down on the guy. Cut to Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, who subsequently sent a letter to Duesler, calling him on it, and asking him to reinstate the contract with Creative Steps.

Whereby Duesler, now in a harsh national spotlight, revises his earlier statement:

"It was never our intention to offend anyone. This thing has been blown out of proportion. It was a safety issue."

Noting that his club was "very diverse," Duesler said he underestimated the amount of children who would participate, and the club's capacity to take on the groups was not up to the task. Reasons which, you may note, are strikingly different from those in his original statement.

And it's not all really on Duesler. After reading reports of the incident, I get the sense that he was responding to club members who were wondering why African-American children were there. And they've got their own spin on the situation. One club member was quoted as saying: "There were a lot of children in the pool and not enough lifeguards. As general members we were not told that they were coming. If we knew, we could decide to not come when the pool was crowded or come anyway. We could have had an option."

If you have the uncomfortable sensation of people getting their stories straight, join the club.

Creative Steps' check of $1,950 has been returned without explanation, effectively canceling the center's contract with the swim club. In the meantime, Girard College, a private boarding school, has stepped up and allowed Creative Steps use of its facilities for the summer. And the members of The Valley Swim Club? They can once again bask in their little corner of Pennsylvania, free to lounge about the pool and contemplate the bullet they dodged. And in complete safety.
 

Today you know this woman as Medusa, Queen of Attilan, the city of the Inhumans--and wife of its king, Black Bolt. But there are those of us who remember her fondly as the super-villainness, Madam Medusa, formerly of the Frightful Four when the group was at its peak.

I mention this now because in the current series War of Kings, which expands on the Inhumans' recent shift to a more proactive force by joining with the Kree, more and more she's showing signs of returning to the mindset that, in my opinion, made her such a memorable character--ruthless, haughty, almost regal, and without much of a conscience. And to tell you the truth, it looks like Black Bolt isn't far behind her. With their now revealed plan to use the Terrigen Mists to systematically transform all species to Inhumans--in effect, presuming to know what's best for every species--it's not hard to imagine why their underclass, the Alpha Primitives, are a constant source of shame for them.

So "Madam Medusa" may be on her way back, in a more regal role than she ever imagined. I was never able to swallow her behind-the-scenes transition from villainness to ally, with no explanation as to why she joined with known villains to commit criminal acts. There was a not-quite-canon explanation of her being afflicted with amnesia during her time with the Frightful Four, which would have been quite plausible--but other than a story in X-Men: First Class, I have yet to see the original published story which establishes that. (And I tend to discount the X-Men story, as it makes the flagrant distortion that Medusa has no criminal history like her teammates in the evil FF--conveniently omitting the fact that she once kidnapped Sue Storm, not to mention Johnny Storm at gunpoint, among other illegal acts.)

I don't know what Marvel plans for the Inhumans once War of Kings has run its course. But I do like the direction in which they're taking Medusa, as well as the Inhumans in general. Once you peel back their royal surface, there are a lot of ugly blights the Inhumans have been side-stepping in their long history with Marvel which have been touched on briefly in one limited series or another. Perhaps their time with the Kree will force them to the surface, once and for all.

In the meantime, have a look at the moment in Marvel history when Medusa comes into her own--and then, as now, she's not to be trifled with.

( The original bad hair day... )

 

I think I may need an intervention.

You tell me. Is it normal to pick up twenty comic books in a two-week period?

Let me be more to the point. Is it normal to pay a record $70 to pick up a two-week stash of comic books? Mostly due to the info disclosed in this post?

(Do I get cut any slack for thriftyness if I mention that I only pay $15 for a 50-bag pack of mylar storage bags?)
 

"I'm sure that now the accolades are gone and when the autopsy has come, all hell will break loose - so thank God we're celebrating him now." -- Liza Minnelli

With the Michael Jackson saga being laid to rest (literally), complete with Paris Jackson being groomed by the Jackson family for the limelight (come on, you know you were thinking it as they all but pushed her face into the microphone), I expect the media focus to shift to loose ends which are still dangling before this story is milked dry. Namely:

The cause of death. The coroner's report that tabloids and documentaries are drumming their fingers for. If I can venture a layman's guess, I think it really is as simple as a 50-year-old man suffering a heart attack while pushing himself too hard--and on medication, at that. I'm one year older than Jackson--and even being in good health and as active as I am, I know that at this stage in my life I have to treat my body with kid gloves, sequined or not. Jackson probably would have been fine with a program like Sinatra's, where he just slowly walks around on stage, singing. But we're talking massive choreography and intense dance steps while doing that singing. At his age, he needed to be more realistic. And he was well past his prime, in that sense.

Also, as any doctor will tell you, you can't just launch yourself into an exercise program and give it full-throttle when you haven't been exercising up to that point. As fragile as Jackson reportedly was, it was absolutely insane to blast into rehearsals for an extensive series of concerts without building up to that kind of punishment in slow increments, over a period of months. And we're not even talking about regular exercise--we're talking about Michael Jackson-level performance. The cocky, 25-year-old kid who performed Billie Jean would have taken these rehearsals in stride, no sweat. But nearly 26 years later, Jackson's body wasn't nearly the equal of his ambition.

Debt. Jackson would have reportedly made nearly $100 million with these concerts in ticket sales. Let's say you could tack on another $100 million with merchandise sales, a live album, and television and DVD sales by the time it was all over. Which would, astonishingly, only put a dent in Jackson's debts, which were around $500 million. So a Jackson "comeback," financially speaking, would have depended on this series of performances as a jumping-off point with Jackson riding its wave to returned popularity in the recording industry. Even with someone of Jackson's caliber, that's a big question mark.

On the one hand, I have no doubt he could pull in some top-notch talent to produce him. But there are things that would be working against him, not the least of which would be time. It takes about two years to produce an album--and frankly, the older Jackson got, the less likely people would relate to a 52- or 53-year-old man talking about some "girl" he wants to impress and throwing around hip words that only younger men like Usher and Chris Brown can get away with. Also, the music industry is in a slump, and Jackson would most likely have to tour with new material. And again, I hate to break it to him, but the kind of high-intensity shows people would expect from him would simply not be manageable for him.

And finally? Jackson attempting to re-ignite his career means more people and companies on the payroll--which, in combination with his lifestyle, would blunt any headway he hoped to make in paying off his debts. With his death, that kind of hemorrhaging is no longer a factor. His creditors can simply focus on his assets (like the Beatles catalog), as well as the popularity of his music which is seeing increased sales.

His legacy. I found it curious that so many at his memorial took the time to denounce those who disparaged Jackson with labels centering on his bizarre changes in appearance or the pedophile incidents. What odd things to repeatedly bring up at someone's memorial. There are more appropriate venues to hash out those kinds of topics. What do you think the viewer takes away from those many denouncements? That they're trying awfully hard to brush over the harsh truths of Jackson's life, exactly. I dare say that all the positive thoughts that were voiced in that auditorium, combined with the comments and prayers of countless mourners, would have done that work for them without such heavy-handedness.

I can put Michael Jackson up on a professional pedestal, but I cannot put him up on a human one. In the end, he died near-destitute and at career's end. He was an extraordinary talent, but an all-too-human one complete with human flaws and weaknesses, driven to excess. I can't whitewash over that aspect of him--and neither will the countless retrospectives of him we're likely to see in the next year or two. And so what? There's no crime in excess or poor choices--and it will take someone with more presumptuousness than I to deliver judgment on Michael Jackson. But his legacy, like anyone's, should be viewed in its entirety, if it's to serve its purpose--as history, and as a guide to others.
 

I know we tend to think of Congress as a bunch of hens wandering around, aimlessly clucking and politically sniping--but there are times when it does a damn good job at oversight. A recent government report describes how the Government Accountability Office (GAO), the investigative arm of Congress, conducted a "sting" to check the effectiveness of the Federal Protective Service, which is charged with maintaining security at federal buildings. GAO investigators conducted tests in ten federal buildings in four U.S. cities--and were successful in not only smuggling bomb components into all ten of the buildings, but actually assembling the bombs and carrying them in briefcases while entering numerous offices.

The buildings housed offices of not only federal lawmakers, but agencies within the Department of Homeland Security. That's right, kids--it turns out our homeland is about as secure as the department charged with protecting it.

Other things the GAO investigation turned up?

• A guard asleep at his post
  
• An infant sent through an x-ray machine because a guard wasn't paying attention
  
• In all 6 FPS regions that were visited, the FPS didn't require guards to complete the mandatory 128 hours of training
  
• A guard was caught using government computers to manage a for-profit adult web site

Investigators obtained the components at local stores and over the Internet for less than $150.
 

Can YOU

        

Name This Marvel Villain??

I wouldn't make any constipation jokes about this guy, if I were you. He definitely wouldn't appreciate your humor at his expense. Driven to a life of crime by circumstances that got out of control, he soon fell into conflict with a Marvel hero, who sent him packing. Not the greatest way to begin a budding career of robbery and mayhem.

Yet, every good villain wants a rematch, and so it was with this loser. Yet this time, he had his natural abilities augmented. Seeking out his old enemy, he actually put up a pretty good fight; but his benefactor intervened, reminding him of just who he had to thank for his new abilities, and sent him on an errand of theft--which ended up costing him his life. It just goes to show--never mix business with pleasure.